


We Walk Alone in Fear

by sanva



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Post Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-16
Updated: 2011-04-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 04:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/184798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanva/pseuds/sanva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam needs a clue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Walk Alone in Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has two titles, the other being Where Do We Go From Here. I have no idea why it had two different titles...apparently I messed up when I posted it originally on LJ.

  


 

He was staring, hoping to God and any other so-called ‘higher power’ that this wasn’t happening. After months spent trying to avoid this very moment, here he was. No. Here they were.

Dean was staring at him, eyes wide and greener than Sam had ever remembered them being. Maybe they just seemed that way because it had been so long since he’d seen them from this close.

Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Sam wasn’t sure what to say, what he could say. As far as Dean knew he was still trapped down in the pit with Lucifer, Michael, and Adam.

Obviously he wasn’t and he hadn’t actually been down there for nearly a year now. Seems like longer, but then time traveled differently down there. It had been difficult to adjust to being topside again. Things moved so slowly up here and they were less…less intense for lack of a better word.

Dean’s voice cracked hoarsely as he finally broke the silence that reigned between them, “Sammy?”

There were too many emotions in that simple word for Sam to decipher them all. He wasn’t sure he wanted to. Swallowing thickly, he debated his options. There were so many ways this could go down, but there was only one way Sam wanted it to.

His hands clenched and he stuffed them into his jacket pockets. Dropping his eyes away from his brother’s, he forced a nod.

Once Dean caught a scent there was no going back. He’d seen Sam, even though Sam had been doing his best not to be seen. Of course, it’d been months of hunts and flirting visits to just watch his brother from the street, taking in the life he’d always dreamed of and his brother had secretly wanted from the outside. He wasn’t stupid, there wouldn’t be a happily ever after for him. Not now. Lucifer had been right about that, he wasn’t meant to have a family.

“How?” Dean took a step forward, his hand lifted and outstretched as if he wanted to reach out and touch but wasn't sure if it wasn’t a dream.

Sam quirked a wry smile at that, the left side of his mouth tilting up. ‘How’ indeed. It was the million dollar question and he wasn’t even sure he knew the answer to it. His time in the cage with Lucifer…let’s just say it wasn’t heaven and it wasn’t hell. It was something different and probably much worse. Whereas he made it out, somehow, in relatively one piece…Adam hadn’t.

He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Dean’s brow furrowed and he took a step back, just slightly but it caused something inside of Sam’s chest to break a little. “How could you not know?”

“Did you remember Cas pulling you out of hell?” Sam shot back at him, voice slightly bitter.

Dean mellowed then, hand clenching at his side. “Fair ‘nough.” He paused then, and their eyes met again. “How do I know you’re really Sam?”

“I am. I just . . .” Sam chewed at the inside of his cheek. He knew that if Dean tried the usual tests that things would be found out and he wasn’t sure if he could handle his brother’s reaction. “I just am . . . but I’m not exactly the same as I was either.”

There was another pause, just long enough for Sam to start getting antsy. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and pulled his hands from his pockets.

“How long?”

Lifting his gaze he raised an eyebrow.

Dean snorted. “You know what I mean Sam. How long have you been back?” His jaw clenched and Sam could see the muscle jumping along his cheekbone. “How long have you been watching from the sidelines without even letting me know you’re alive?”

“A year.”

He could see the explosion of emotion within Dean, could practically feel it. The outrage, anger, relief, sorrow, happiness. The outrage and anger outweighed everything else. Sam couldn’t fault him.

“What the hell Sam. You couldn’t even pick up a phone or knock on the door?!” Dean paced forward, right up into Sam’s space. It had been years for Sam since someone had gotten this close. At least someone when pain wasn’t involved. “Anything?! The first fucking thing I did when I came back was look for you!”

“I wanted you to have this.” Sam waved towards the house less than a quarter block away. “You deserve this.”

Dean ran a hand over his face, visibly trying to calm himself down. “Deserve? Yeah. Sure. But all I wanted . . . want is for you and I to be a family. Other people are bonus. It was never about this—“ He motioned towards Lisa’s house. “—life for me Sam. It’s you and me. That’s what matters. Don’t you know that?”


End file.
